Marine with extremely low IQ thrilled by switch to Super Intelligence
Marine Corps announces major technological advancement requiring millions of dollars in new signage and PowerPoint slides
CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — A Marine with an exceptionally low IQ expressed excitement this week after learning the Marine Corps was replacing the term “Artificial Intelligence” with “Super Intelligence,” calling the move the greatest technological advancement since someone invented the cordless drill.
“Artificial Intelligence sounded pretty gay, honestly,” said Lance Cpl. Tyler Jenkins, an infantryman whose enlistment required multiple waivers. “But Super Intelligence? That's fucking sick. Like Super Saiyan, but for computers.”
Jenkins, who previously believed artificial intelligence referred to officers who had attended college, said he was particularly impressed by how quickly the Marine Corps had improved the technology.
“China's been spending billions trying to make their computers smarter, and all we had to do was put ‘super’ in front of ours,” he explained. “That's why we're the best.”
Marine Corps leadership apparently agrees. Officials have launched a service-wide transition effort to ensure every reference to Artificial Intelligence is replaced with Super Intelligence, despite the technology remaining exactly the same.
The initiative includes updating an estimated 40,000 PowerPoint slides, replacing signage at offices and laboratories bearing the letters “AI,” revising acquisition documents, and renaming several working groups whose only previous accomplishment was deciding what to call themselves.
The Corps has also awarded a $14.7 million contract to a defense consulting firm to develop a Super Intelligence Implementation Roadmap. Updated office signs will cost roughly $1,200 each because they must be manufactured by an approved vendor and installed in secure facilities.
“The terminology must reflect our commitment to lethality and technological superiority,” said a Marine Corps spokesperson. “We cannot afford to fall behind China in the naming of emerging technologies.”
Officials said the effort would take approximately 18 months and require the formation of a Super Intelligence Transition Working Group, which will report to the Super Intelligence Steering Committee.
A mandatory online training course will ensure all Marines understand the difference between Artificial Intelligence and Super Intelligence.